Recently Discovered Documents Confirm Dinah Shore Blvd Was Actually Supposed to Be “Dinosaur Blvd”

By Staff Writer – Herald Comical

WINCHESTER, TN — A set of “newly uncovered historical documents” — found inside a filing cabinet that has not been opened since the Carter administration — suggests that Dinah Shore Blvd was never meant to honor the famous singer and actress at all. Instead, the road was originally intended to bear the name “Dinosaur Boulevard.”

The documents, discovered last week by a city employee looking for a missing stapler, include fading memos, hand-drawn sketches of cartoon stegosauruses, and an official—but deeply coffee-stained—resolution from the 1950s labeled “Proposed Road: DINOSAUR BLVD (final??).”

According to the papers, Winchester city planners in 1954 intended the major east-west corridor to be themed after “prehistoric traffic excellence.” The plan included dinosaur-shaped streetlights, Velociraptor Crossing signs, and something described only as “the Triceratops Roundabout,” which appears to have been a traffic circle shaped like a dinosaur head. Funding for this roundabout remains unclear, though one marginal note reads, “Ask the Kiwanis?”

Why the name changed has become a matter of debate.

One memo suggests that the original sign-painter misread the handwritten word “Dinosaur,” interpreting it as “Dinah S.” Another document argues that a city commissioner in 1955 insisted on changing the name after hearing Dinah Shore sing on the radio, writing in the margin: “This lady sings nice. Let’s do that instead.”

Local historian Marvin Keel, who claims he has been “studying Winchester lore since before the Walmart remodel,” called the discovery “a groundbreaking revelation.”

“This changes everything we thought we knew about Winchester infrastructure,” Keel said. “The entire character of the town might have been different. Imagine telling someone, ‘Yeah, just take a left on Dinosaur and you’ll see the Exxon.’ That’s powerful.”

City residents have had strong reactions.

“I would absolutely live on Dinosaur Boulevard,” said area man Ricky Dale. “I want that on my mail. Don’t nobody want to tell people they live off a road named after some Hollywood lady. But dinosaurs? That’s American.”

Others are skeptical.

“What kind of dinosaur would it have been?” asked lifelong local Sondra Mae Johnson. “Because if it was one of them skinny fast ones, no. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

In response to the discovery, the City Council will meet next Thursday to discuss whether renaming the road back to its “original intended form” is feasible. A preliminary cost estimate for changing all the signs, business addresses, and Google Maps listings is already being calculated, though one alderman admitted the real obstacle is convincing residents to stop calling it “Dinah Shore” out of habit.

Meanwhile, the original documents have been placed on display in the library’s “Unexpected Winchester History” case, next to the framed copy of the ordinance that once attempted to ban Jazzercise.

The city has not yet ruled out the possibility of installing at least one dinosaur-themed feature.

Unofficial reports indicate that if approved, the first addition will be a 15-foot inflatable T-Rex placed outside the Chambe

r of Commerce “to raise morale.”