By Staff Writer – Herald Comical
WINCHESTER, TN — In a bold move to appeal to the growing number of new residents arriving from “mysterious foreign lands like California, Ohio, and Maryland,” Skip’s Grill has announced the launch of its new “Exotic Upscale Menu,” aimed at diners with what management calls “more refined palettes and fragile expectations.”
Owner Skip Henderson told the Herald Comical that his restaurant must “adapt to the changing demographics” if it hopes to keep up.
“These new folks don’t just want a fried bologna sandwich,” Skip explained. “They want flavors. They want culture. They want to feel like they’re eating something you can’t get at a gas station. So we’ve met them halfway.”
The New “Exotic” Items Include:
Fried Chicken Charcuterie Board
Featuring sliced tenders, generic cheese cubes, and Ritz crackers arranged “in a circle for classy effect.”
Fried Chicken Sushi Rolls
Skip assures customers these rolls contain “absolutely no raw fish,” just “fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and a dab of gravy rolled up in rice like God intended.”
International Nachos
A fusion masterpiece consisting of tortilla chips topped with pulled pork, queso, sour cream, and one single kale leaf “to impress the Californians.”
Deconstructed Hot Dog
Which is simply a regular hot dog served in three separate bowls for $11 more.
Artisanal Cornbread Flight
Includes Plain, Jalapeño, Overcooked, and “Whatever That One Burnt Corner Was.”
Skip says the menu was designed after “months of cultural research,” which consisted of watching two episodes of Top Chef and briefly scrolling through TikTok before getting frustrated.
Locals React With Skepticism
Longtime customer Wayne “Buckshot” Davis is uneasy.
“I ordered the sushi and I swear it winked at me,” Davis said. “Food shouldn’t wink.”
Others were more supportive.
“I think it’s great Skip is branching out,” said local woman Martha Ann Dugan. “But I do hope they keep the fried catfish. If they ever get rid of that, this town will riot.”
New Residents Offer Confusing Praise
Transplant and self-proclaimed “foodie advocate” Melissa McKenna shared her excitement.
“In Winchester, things are… simple,” she said. “I’m thrilled to see a restaurant leaning toward elevated cuisine. Last week, I ordered the fried chicken charcuterie board, and honestly? It wasn’t terrible. I mean, it wasn’t good, but it wasn’t terrible. Which is progress.”
She paused before adding, “I do think the sushi needs less… biscuit.”
Skip Remains Optimistic
Despite mixed reactions, Skip insists his new menu will help “bridge the cultural divide.”
“We’re blending the old and the new,” he said proudly. “We’re honoring our roots while still providing something that looks good on Instagram. The only real challenge has been explaining what ‘charcuterie’ means to our employees.”
When asked what the future holds, Skip confirmed he is already experimenting with a new dish.
“It’s called ‘Pho,’” he said. “Spelled F-O. But it’s really just chicken noodle soup with cilantro. Don’t tell anybody.”
Grand Opening This Saturday
The restaurant will host a tasting event this weekend, featuring samples of the new menu, live music, and a seminar titled “How to Pronounce Bruschetta Without Starting a Fight.”
Skip hopes the community will embrace his culinary innovations.
“At the end of the day,” he said, “all I want is for people to say, ‘Skip’s is fancy now.’ I don’t care if it’s a lie.”
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