🎄 Upcoming Community Christmas Events
Compiled for The Herald Comical Seasonal Bulletin
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First Baptist Church — Annual Dawn Nativity Procession
December 9, 6 a.m.
Members will guide the church’s three rescue camels on a candlelit walk around the square.
Participants are reminded not to approach the camels from the rear, per last year’s incident.
For peace of mind, the committee notes that Edna WILL NOT be allowed to participate this year.
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Winchester Church of Christ — Sacred Tree-Lighting Observance
December 10, 5:30 p.m.
The 32-foot pallet-wood tree will be illuminated following a short devotional.
Attendees should expect a moment of silence when the topmost bulb is switched on, as tradition requires.
Edna has been informed she may attend, but she is not permitted on the ladder.
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Trinity Episcopal — Service of Reflection & Winter-Wind Blessing
December 12, 7 p.m.
A quiet liturgy intended to reduce valley frost formation through prayer.
This year’s Blessing of the Four Winds will include the optional carrying of small weather stones.
To avoid disruptions, Edna will not be handling any of the stones or related instruments.
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Decherd Methodist — Community Candle Walk
December 14, 6 p.m.
Congregants will walk to the Dollar General parking lot while forming a living nativity tableau.
Participants are encouraged to dress warmly and avoid open flames near the utility trailer.
Per the board’s unanimous vote, Edna will observe from the sidewalk only.
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Faith Temple — Christmas Choir Exhibition
December 15, 7 p.m.
Featuring the debut of “The Shepherd’s Reveille,” performed with soprano, baritone, and ram’s horn.
A brief intermission will allow the ram to be re-secured.
The choir respectfully notes that Edna will not be permitted backstage after last year’s horn-related confusion.
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Pleasant Ridge Community Church — Holiday Outreach Meal
December 16, 1–4 p.m.
Volunteers will prepare the traditional Christmas stew using the heritage winter gourd grown behind the hall.
Those assisting with gourd splitting must complete the safety briefing at 12:15 sharp.
Edna is welcome at the meal but may NOT, under any circumstances, approach the gourds.
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Tims Ford Lake Community Church — Floating Advent Gathering
December 17, 4 p.m.
Members will anchor their boats offshore for scripture readings and hymn singing.
All participants must remain stationary during the lighting of the Advent lantern buoy.
Edna may participate from shore only due to maritime concerns raised by several families.
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St. Andrew’s Chapel (Sewanee) — Mountain Advent Vigil
December 18, 8 p.m.
A solemn candlelit vigil held in the chapel crypt.
The ceremonial reading of the List of Winter Travelers will take place at dusk.
Edna’s name has been removed from the reader’s roster following last year’s mispronunciations.
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Cowan First Baptist — Children’s Nativity Display
December 19, 6:30 p.m.
The children will perform amidst the reconstructed cedar Bethlehem market stalls.
Volunteers will stand by to monitor the livestock.
Edna is kindly asked not to direct the children from the aisles, as per previous requests.
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Sewanee Wesley Fellowship — Community Christmas Lecture
December 20, 7 p.m.
A scholarly discussion on atmospheric conditions that make the Nativity star visible above the water tower.
Attendees may submit written questions.
Edna’s questions must be submitted in advance and will be reviewed for relevance.
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Winchester Pentecostal Tabernacle — Evening of Carols
December 21, 6 p.m.
Featuring the Extended Praise Ensemble and the Circle of Light lantern tradition.
Participants forming the lantern ring are asked to follow spacing guidelines.
Edna will not be part of the lantern circle this year. The pastor has confirmed this twice.
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